A Good Man
by the-vampire-act
Summary: My latest Reid drabble series. Spencer Reid is ever-evolving, and just like every evolving thing, they start to question and comment on how things work.
1. In the Beginning

**This is the first drabbles in my newest series, 'A Good man' Thnx to everyone who atuck around for Drabbles About Reid; I hope this doesn't disappoint! **

**A Good man- Chapter 1**

**In the Beginning **

Spencer Reid's eyes wandered around the BAU Headquarters with a frown on his face. It was much bigger than he thought it would be, and there were much more people. He quietly wished that Gideon hadn't had invited him to join, but at the same time, he saw the potent ional of the situation, and he liked where those potentials lead. Besides, the BAU would let him make a difference in life, and it would let him use his intelligence without over flaunting it like he knew every other job would. With his stomach caught in his throat, he walked into Agent Hotchner's office.

"Come on," the older man instructed. Spencer nervously did so, and he passed his paperwork to his new boss, waiting for him to sign it. Hotch quickly scanned through the notes Gideon had left in the application request, and a small smile formed on his face, even if Spencer was unaware of it. "So you're my newest agent?"

"Yes sir," he nodded.

Hotch stood up and measured Spencer out. He noticed how thin and how young he was, but he was sure that he could use that to his advantage later on. He nodded for Spencer to follow him out of the office where a strange group of people had gathered around.

"This is our newest member, Dr. Spencer Reid," Hotch introduced. "You can call me Hotch,," he added. Spencer lightly brushed, knowing that he was hinting at what he had called him earlier. "This is SSA Derek Morgan, with JJ, Elle, and, of course, Gideon. You'll all be meeting our new tech later in the week."

"Welcome aboard," Elle smiled.

"It's great to meet you; Gideon speaks rather highly of you," JJ smiled.

"Well, you kids play nice," Gideon smirked. He lightly tapped Hotch's shoulder, motioning to his own office. "We uh, have some things we still need to discuss."

"That we do," Hotch nodded. "Welcome to the team." With that, the older two agents left.

"So how does a kid like you end up in the BAU?" Morgan asked jokingly. Elle and JJ glared at him nonetheless, but Spencer only smiled.

"Actually, that's a funny story."

**~* AGM *~**

**Well, there it is! I wish it was longer, but it'll have to do for now. I don't know when I'll have a chance to write anytime soon. Oh, and don't forget to check out my writing contest! Thnx for reading ;) **


	2. God Only Knows

**Thnx for reading! Up for round 2? WARNING: Spoilers for Demonology. **

**A Good Man-Chapter 2**

**God Only Knows **

The conversation had started randomly, but if Spencer Reid had thought quicker, he would have made the connection.

"You're not religious, are you?" Prentiss had suddenly asked one day. At first, Spencer merely frowned, debating whether or not it was appropriate to stop reading or carry on. One glace at Prentiss' face though, and Spencer knew immediately to put the book down.

"If you had asked me that question two years ago, I might have said no," he answered cautiously.

"And now?" Prentiss questioned. "Have your views changed?"

Spencer sighed, neither confirming or denying anything at first. Finally, he leaned closer to Emily and turned over the palm of his hand. Curious, Emily peered forward to see what it was. A frown formed on her face when she saw it.

"Where did you get that? I don't recognize it."

"You probably haven't seen it before; no one has, because I normally have cosmetic cream over it" Spencer admitted. His eyes followed Emily's back to his own scar. He turned it over with a slight smile on his face, something that made Emily nervous. "You remember the case we worked a few years ago with Father Paul Silvano and your old, uh, friend I suppose, John Cooley," Spencer quickly reminded- stating, not questioning. . He paused before continuing, noting the concerned look on Emily's face. "He found me before he left for the airport, and he placed some sort of cross on my hand. He told me not to let it get to me, to stay pure and innocent. When he removed the cross, the imprint was still on my hand. He dropped it in my bag and told me to keep it with me wherever I go, that it might come in handy. Then he asked me to watch over you," he summarized.

"Did he say anything else?" she asked, still confused.

Spencer hesitated for a moment, but he eventually shook his head no. "With this job, it's hard not to think that there's some greater force controlling the good and evil. Like Rossi once said, 'how can you do this job without believing in evil?' Well, I say how can you do this job and stay sane without believing in good? Either way, you believe in one, you have to believe in the other."

"Have you gone to church before?"

"Gideon took me once, but for the life of me, I can't remember anything from that day. Well, I can't remember much from Gideon outside of work period, I suppose." Spencer sighed.

"Why do you think that is?" Prentiss frowned, readjusting herself to a more comfortable position.

Spencer picked up his book again and smiled sadly. "God only knows."

**~* AGM *~ **

**I'm going to write more on two things at the moment- the scene described here and more on Spencer when he first joins. For those who read Drabbles About Reid, I am writing a larger version of Defaced, and it should be up fairly soon!**


	3. Not About Me

**The bit with the priest meeting Spencey before he left for the airport will be next. This just wouldn't leave me be. This one takes place in season 2, riiiight before Gideon lives. **

**A Good Man- Chapter 3**

**Not About Me**

"Dr. Reid, do you know why you are here today?"

It was a simple statement, an expected one, really. The unexpected thing about though, was who it was coming from. Spencer Reid nodded his head nonetheless; he knew better than to argue with profilers by this point in his career. The blond woman sighed at his ignorance, and after dramatically shuffling papers on her desk, she turned back to him with her hands folded together.

"We need to speak about something," she restarted.

"What is it, ma'am?" Spencer asked.

She leaned closer to him with a glare on her face. "Don't be naïve Spencer, and don't try to be Agent Hotchner. You know damn well what you're here about, and I would like you to admit that, please," she hissed back.

Spencer decided that she was right; he had annoyed her enough. So instead, he whipped off his FBI badge and laid it across her desk. 'She's not the only one who can make a spectacle out of things,' he silently mused. "I'm here because of this, because of what I've done to get to this position. Sure, I've only been an agent for two years , but I know by now that I'm not here to make friends. I don't know what you want, Strauss, but to be honest, I don't think this is about me," Spencer glared back. "Now, if you would excuse me, my team needs me." Without another word, Spencer stormed out of the room.

Morgan and Prentiss stood outside of the door, greeting Spencer with questions as he furiously stomped out of the office. He kept walking, though, until he turned the corner and found Aaron Hotchner. Morgan and Prentiss had apparently followed him, but he still ignored them. Spencer pointed his finger at Hotch and pointed his finger at him and animatedly declared, "I didn't tell her a damn thing." Before anyone could comment, he raced out of the bullpen and out the doors of the BAU. Hotch hesitantly followed the distressed agent, knowing exactly what he was talking about. He managed to catch Spencer before he had entered his beat-up truck, and he grabed his wrist to stop him.

"I know, Spencer," he said firmly, "but don't let her get to you. She could never understand what true loyalty is." He finally let go of Spencer's wrist, and the long fingers attached to it automatically flew to his face, wiping away tears.

"I know Hotch, I know."

~* AGM *~

Strauss turned to look out at the bullpen from her window. She watched and Hotch and Reid reentered the office, a slight frown on her face. So she wouldn't be able to get the youngest to turn, but she still had leverage on the newest. Her sudden entrance to the BAU had been clear-cut, but she could of course make anything appear otherwise supcious. She turned on her heels and walked out of her office, clearing her mind of her new mission.

She had more important things to do, anyways.

~* AGM *~

**I don't know why, but I just HAD to write this! Hope you liked; thnx for reading!**


	4. Game Face Time

**I lie once more. Priest-Cross scene up next…ish**

**A Good Man- Game Face Time**

Spencer Reid didn't bother trying to smile. It was pointless, really. It didn't take a profiler to realize that he was unhappy, and if they hadn't figured it out by now, well, that wasn't even an option, was it? The young man spalshed his hands face with the sink water of his bathroom, whispering motivations like 'you can do it', 'it's just another day','hold in there', 'at least you have something to look forward to when the case ends'.

Spencer walked out of his apartment on the third floor disinterestedly, waving politely at this fellow tenants as he passed by. They could sense something was off with the young man as well, but to be frank, Spencer had stopped giving a damn about their worries and half-hearted frowns. His main concern nowadays was keeping on his game-face unless such a situation called for the 'human aspect'. Wearing the mask was tiring though, and he normally kept it on only at work.

Spencer was a master at disguises by now; even Morgan didn't sense anything wrong with the younger agent as he walked in with a cup of coffee in his hands. He nodded as he made his way to his desk, where he sat down with a 'plop' and lost himself in whatever horror filled the pages in front of him.

"Conference room, please," Hotch mumbled. Spencer sighed as he gathered his belongings and raced off to the conference room. With a carefully concealed expression, Spencer sat down and sighed. It was never that easy anymore, never that simple, was it?

"We've got a serial murderer in Los Angeles targeting 12-years-old boys."

**~* AGM *~**

**Just…something, I guess. Thnx for reading. **


	5. Gold, but there's always Silver

**Sorry for the inconsistent updates, but things have been hectic! Thnx for reading everyone! And yes, this is finally the priest scene :) **

**A Good Man- Chapter 4**

**Gold, but there's Always Silver **

"You're the last person I expected to see here."

The smile on his face was poisonous, and even now Spencer Reid could tell his intentions were to harm. He shook off the growing terror inside him in favor of approaching the arrogant preacher.

"Father Silvano," Spencer started, "I'll admit I'm also surprised to find myself here, but I just couldn't walk away from you- not after my team figured out what you were doing and you still got to walk away from it.

"I did it for God, Spencer, not for pleasure," he replied. His tone was even, emotionless, as Spencer laughed bitterly.

"Do you know how many times I've heard that from UnSubs?" Spencer challenged. "Religion isn't an excuse to commit crimes. If anything, it's an excuse to stop them."

"Religion isn't an excuse." Father Silvano inched closer to Spencer, abandoning his luggage momentarily as he drew nearer to the young man. He slipped something shiny into his hands before whispering in Spencer's ears. "There's something special about you, something pure. The fact that your job hasn't hasn't taken away your youthful emotions- hasn't tainted you- the same way it has your friends is incredible." He paused to take Spencer's hand. The younger man jerked away, but the priest pulled it back. "You said you didn't know why you were here; well, I think I know." Spencer felt as something was dropped in his hand, and he didn't even have to to frown before his hand started stinging. He tried to pull his hand free, but Silvano's grip was too firm. "I want you to keep this, and I don't want you to show it to anyone. You may not understand now, but you will later on." Thee priest let go and started walking forward. He picked up his bags and started toward the airport. He turned around, though, and hesitated before talking. "Take care of Emily; I worry about her, and so do the others." The priest started off again.

Spencer thumbed over the cross in his hands, reading over the Italian words with a frown. "What does it say?" he asked.

The older man hesitated before answering, "Gold will never be silver." Seeing the questioning look on Spencer's face, Silvano shook his head. "I said you would figure it out in time; I am a man of my word, Spencer Reid. You will understand in time." Without another look back, he turned around again and entered the plane.

Spencer's gaze dropped to his hand, frowning as he saw the scar forming. He tucked the cross away, and with a sigh, he left the airport.

**~* WL *~**

**I'm going to get back to some Gideon moments and other Season 1 drabbles, as I skipped them in my first series. *Spoiler for January ep of CM* In Januaray, there's an episode called Corazon which focuses on Spencer having 'hallucinations and blinding headaches', so expect drabbles about more recent eps to start reappearing then. I'm planning one for 'Reflection of Desire', but I'll start that in a few chaps. Hopefully, I'll also have a Christmas story up soon, too! Sorry for the long AN; it was necessary- trust me! Thnx for reading!**


	6. What Isn't Enough?

**One of those days, I guess. Well, one of those years, really. **

**A Good Man- Chapter 5 **

**What Isn't Enough? **

"I don't get it," Spencer admitted.

Being the only other person in the room with him, Aaron Hotchner turned toward his youngest agent and frowned. Sensing the start of another one-sided conversation, Aaron nodded for Spencer to continue. The younger man just shook his head and sighed. Leaning back in his seat, he closed his eyes and mumbled something. "What is it?"

"I have an IQ of 187, the ability to read 20,000 words per minute, and an eidetic memory. Something's always on my mind, Hotch." The withdrawn state of the normally excited and fact-spouting younger man worried Hotch, but he supposed that even SSA Dr. Spencer Reid wasn't immune to the effects of their job. Instead, he casually threw his hand in the air, as if agreeing to some unspoken statement, and he too leaned back in his seat. "It's never enough though, is it?"

Hotch turned his gaze over to Reid, a knowing look on his face. He just shook his head and picked up his glass. "No, it never is."

_Later that night, a man would kill a five-year-old infant, and the BAU would be called to Georgia for a serial rapist case. _

**~* AGM *~**

**The angst train has left the station, but have no fear, once it's made its round, I'm sure it'll cheer up ;)**


	7. A Few Exceptions, of Course

**I finished my goals for this year: finish Frozen Reliance, write and complete at least two multi-chap stories, finish off the drabbles series and start a new one, write a few OneShots, have a contest or two, and write a Christmas story. I just started my Christmas story, and to celebrate, here's a drabble. Set in season 1. **

**A Good Man- A Few Exceptions, of Course**

Spencer Reid was by definition an exception- a few exceptions, actually. He had bypassed every manageable thing that he had been told he never would, and all he had to prove for it was a badge and a gun. That was all he needed, really- well, that and a few visits to the hospital. Now, he had only one obstacle remaining: _staying _in the BAU.

It was harder than he had thought it would be, to be perfectly honest. He had never expected there to be so much physical work, and he hadn't been expecting it to be so mentally exhausting. He faced life and death- good and evil- everyday now, and it was a hefty change for a 23-year-old who had been recruited straight from FBI training. He had to get in the mindset of 'it was all worth it', and 'you're helping so many people', but he wasn't as naïve as to think there would never be a day where a case, a victim, or even an UnSub that got to him. He knew it would be challenging, but he was ready to face that challenge now. He was better prepared, and he would hopefully know how to handle it a helluva lot better.

"What are you doing here, kid?" He has been asked that question so many times that he had lost count, even with the memory capacity that he held. Whenever he was asked the question now, he had a better answer than just walking away. His mentor had told him to smile at them, to look them in the eyes with the same ignorant and cocky attitude that they held. "I'm here for the same reason you are, with a few exceptions, of course."

**~* AGM *~**

**I filler, I know, but I'm trying to get back into the mindset that Gideon isn't evil. It's harder than it looks, honest! Thnx for reading; feedback is appreciated! **


	8. It's a Coin

**I will get back to Gideon scenes next, but I rewatched Elephant's memory and was inspired!**

**A Good Man- It's a Coin**

Aaron Hotchner sat down opposite of Spencer Reid, and although he felt it was necessary to address the fact that it looked like he had been crying, he conveniently 'forgot' to, just like he would 'forget' to write up the incident in his official case report.

"I should fire you." He knew it was a mean way to start the conversation, but he had to see his agent's reaction. It had obviously been an option for Spencer's mind, but by the glistening in his eyes, he knew he wasn't too thrilled about it. Spencer still wanted to be in the BAU, and although that was great- no, _fantastic- _that meant that something else was wrong. "But I'm not going to. You're the smartest kid in the room, but you're not the only kid in that room." He warned Spencer that his actions were intolerable and that there would be consequences next time it happened. He followed protocol to the 't'- until the end, that was. It had taken him a moment to realize what his agent was holding, and he was almost positive that he wasn't supposed to see it. Apparently he had been staring at it too long, though, because Spencer protectively wrapped his fingers around it and looked up at Hotch with pain-filled eyes.

"It's not mine," he softly explained. "Not yet anyway."

"It's none of my business, nor is it the BAU's business." Hotch stood up and cleared his throat; Spencer's eyes kept steady on him despite it, though. "Maybe you should…you should catch the rest of that movie after we land."

"I was planning on it," Spencer nodded, his voice cracking.

Despite his better judgment, Hotch left Spencer alone. He sat back in his seat opposite of Rossi, who immediately jumped to questions. "What happened?"

Hotch hesitated before answering. Rossi didn't know about Tobias- well, he knew, but he didn't know _everything_. Hotch shook his head, and with a frown, he said, "You wouldn't understand."

**~* AGM *~**

**Thnx for reading ;) Happy holidays!**


	9. Why not Me?

**Just got a new program….well, laptop. It has Windows 7 Starter, and even though it's pretty great, I miss being able to have my Spencey wallpapers! Hope your Christmas was merry, and best wishes for the new year! I'm working out some plotline bugs in my Christmas story, so it might be a day or two before I write that. **

**A Good Man- Why not Me?**

Spencer Reid stared ahead of him, a small frown growing every once in a while, but whenever it did, he made sure to straighten it out again. He was happy, though, and he couldn't figure out why. That thought alone made him frown.

"Merry Christmas, Pretty Boy," Morgan greeted from behind him. "Got any plans?"

"Huh…? Uh, no," Spencer replied distractedly. The older agent sighed, sensing that Spencer needed to talk something out. He stared at the kid, waiting for him to take the hint to talk to him. Spencer continued to just stare straight out the window, though, so Morgan scooted in front of the window, forcing him to exchange his attention to him. Spencer exhaled; he was hoping that Morgan would have left him alone, but it was now obvious that that wasn't going to happen. "Please, Morgan, I just want to be alone right now. I promise if I really need to talk to someone, I'll talk to Gideon, alright?"

"Oh yeah? And why not me?" Morgan glowered. He watched as Spencer's eyes briefly filled with some sort of sadness, and he quickly realized why Spencer was so reluctant. "I'm not like those boys from your school. I'm not a bully, alright? I'm an agent- just like you."

"I know," Spencer nodded, "but this has nothing to do with that," he admitted. He suddenly reached inside his messenger bag and produced a candy cane. After placing it in Morgan's hand, he walked away.

'Nah, I'm not letting him get away that easily,' Morgan thought. He quickly ran up to catch the kid, and when he finally did, he placed a hand on the skinny kid's shoulder. "What is it about then?"

"I'd rather not say-"

"No, the BAU is a family, Reid. You need to learn that it's the only way we can all stay sane. Sure, there are some things that you don't have to tell us, but of course we'll still tease you about them. Things like this, though, things that could hurt how you do the job? Those are things that we need to know about. We're all here for you, kid. We've all been in your shoes before." Morgan waited for some sort of response from Spencer, and when he didn't receive any, he sighed and walked away.

Spencer watched as Morgan sped out of the BAU, a slight frown on his face. He knew that he had to let him in; he probably understood what was going on just as much as Gideon did, and because he was closer to his age, there was a better chance that he could relate better to him and give him advice that would be more helpful. It was hard for him to let people in, though, because he had become so used to taking care of others and ignoring his emotions, but he knew he couldn't do that with this job. It would require every ounce of him- emotional and physical- and if he was going to succeed in the job, he had to get used to getting intact with both parts of him. He had to find the balance between work and emotion, and even if he wasn't so sure he could do it, he knew that he had to try. So Spencer turned around, and even though unenthusiastic about the idea, he called back, "I'm happy."

"Excuse me?" Morgan asked, pausing at the elevator. Spencer paused before walking up to Morgan, who was staring at him with a confused expression. "Why is that a problem?"

"Three kids were killed today; a single mom was just torn apart; a killer outsmarted us. Of course we were able to get him and save future victims, and that is a great thing, but I shouldn't be happy…." Spencer halted, as if thinking over what he had just said for the first time. "Or is it normal?"

Morgan bit his lip; he hadn't been expecting that. How could he tell the kid his honest opinion without giving him the wrong idea? Although he was glad that Spencer had opened up, he was beginning to somewhat regret it. What if he gave him bad advice? What if he ended up confusing him even more? Morgan reluctantly nodded, knowing that he had to give the kid something. "Ah, Reid, there's no right or wrong answer there. Of course you should be happy about getting the UnSub, but you're right, we also lost so many victims in the meantime. You should be happy for just getting through your first few cases alone- I know I was! It's okay to not know how to feel yet; you'll figure it out in time. It took about half a year to learn that any life saved is a reason to be happy, and even if I told you right now how to feel, it wouldn't help you. Feelings are tricky, kid, because if you're told how to feel-"

"Then it's not your own feeling," Spencer nodded. "That makes sense," he sighed. "Thanks; that actually did help."

"Good, I'm here for you anytime," he nodded. He watched as the kid reached for his coat, gingerly putting it on. "Hey, do you want to go out of a drink? We've got a few days off because of Christmas, so even if you do actually decide to drink you won't have to worry about work," he smirked.

Spencer smiled, and even though it was against his better judgment, he nodded. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

**~ AGM ~ **

**I hope I made that realistic! Thnx for reading everyone; The best of New Years wishes to the lot of you!**


	10. A Look Inside a Tragedy

**So here's another one! Pleaz enjoy ;)Oh, this is in…let's say late season 4, so it does not have Gideon in it. I find him…hard…to write, but he'll hopefully be in it next time! Spoilers for 'Revelations'.**

**A Good Man- A Look inside a Tragedy**

"I don't understand you, Dr. Reid."

Spencer Reid turned his head around sharply, a sad expression on his face. Seeing that David Rossi was looking to start a full conversation, he sighed and twisted around so he was facing him directly. "I'm not yours to understand, Rossi," he smirked.

"Well, you're succeeding with your mission," he replied, rolling his eyes. "But that's not what I meant," he added.

"Then what did you mean?" Spencer frowned.

"I've been told- I've _heard, _that is- about your hazardous track record in the BAU," Rossi admitted, "and I was just wondering why you do it…"

"Do what?"

Rossi sighed, rubbing a hand over his face as he did so. There was no polite way for him to ask Reid what he wanted to ask, but he knew that he somehow had to. He was sure, anyways, that he hadn't been told about every 'crusade' that Reid had been a part of. 'What the hell?' he muttered to himself.

"Get yourself into danger like that. I mean, most of the, uh, situations that I've heard about could have been easily prevented, and on your half it seemed-"

"Like an overreaction?" Spencer supplied.

"Yeah, I guess so," Rossi huffed, suddenly afraid that he might have offended the kid. "Listen, just forget about it. It's just the musing of an old man…"

"No, it's…it's understandable," Spencer nodded, his voice raising an octave in the process. "I know that some of the…some of the ways that I've handled the situations are a bit unorthodox, but if you were in the situation in my perspective, things looked a bit different," he sighed.

"What do you mean?" Rossi frowned.

Spencer bit his lip nervously, unsure of how to approach the 'situation'. Suddenly, another thought came to mind, and he frowned.

"What cases have you heard about?"

The sudden change in conversation made Rossi suspicious. It was obvious that there was a case that Reid was thinking of, but he unsure what exactly he was afraid of him finding out. He was nervous, that much was obvious, but why?

"What case are you talking about? I can tell you if it rings a bell..." he supplied. Spencer took the bait; he instantly relaxed. Now Rossi was curious.

"You haven't heard about it, then," he muttered.

He could tell that Spencer was trying to dismiss the conversation, but he wouldn't let the kid off that easily. "Well, I think this is something I should know about. It obviously makes you comfortable, so that must mean it's still bothering you. Come on, Reid, I think you need to talk this out."

Reid laughed bitterly back, shaking his head as he threw something shiny in Rossi's direction. Rossi picked up the coin and flipped it over, suddenly understanding. He was surprised, though, that Reid- SSA Dr. Spencer Reid with an IQ of 187 and the ability to read 20,000 words per minute- would do something so stupid. As if understanding, Reid shook his head, quickly correcting the older profiler.

"The dr-" he stopped, though, suddenly finding it inappropriate to say the 'd' word. "They were forced on me, and I never told the team. Of course, they found out, but I was stupid for not telling them sooner," he admitted.

"But that's not what's still bothering you about the case, is it?" Rossi easily profiled.

Spencer let out an exhausted breath and momentarily shut his eyes. 'Enough sharing for tonight,' he quickly decided. 'Let's leave it with a cliff hanger.' He could hear Rossi continue to talk, but he drowned out the older man. Everyone else on the team had fallen to sleep, and he too was tired- no, _drained. _Although, truthfully, he hadn't intended to ignore Rossi, he just couldn't find the strength to stay awake. Before he knew it, he was sound asleep.

Rossi smirked from his seat as he watched Hotch pop his eyes open. "Oldest trick in the book, Hotch- I knew you were awake."

"Yeah, well, Reid obviously didn't," he responded.

"He's also been dead on his feet for about four days now. Can you blame the kid?"

"So do you think he'll ever tell you the truth?" Hotch asked.

Rossi stared at Hotch for a moment before passing over the medallion. Hotch fingered the proof with a sigh, then promptly threw it back at Rossi. "As far as I'm concerned, he just did."

Hotch nodded from his seat, understanding Rossi completely. Reid had always been the hardest member of his team to talk to, and even when he did open up, the most important details were left out.

"A look inside a tragedy, I suppose" Rossi sighed.

"Yes, but unfortunately, that's the most you'll ever get," Hotch replied.

Rossi turned his head back to Reid, who had someone managed to pull his tall form into a very tight human ball, to Hotch, who seemed to have given up on sleep altogether. Hotch too was glancing at Reid, and both of the older men secretly envied the innocence and purity that he had managed to preserve over the years. Relinquishing, Rossi turned his head back to Hotch, shaking his head.

"We'll see about that," he mumbled.

**~* AGM *~**

**So not at all what I expected, but it never is anymore. Cheers and New Years Wishes to all!**


	11. Parish thee to Hollywood

**I haven't been 'in the mood' to write my multi-chap stories. I apologize, but at the moment, Im beyond busy. This takes place when Rossi first joins the team. Spoilers for Somebody's watching. Also, I have a FB group now and am about to post up some stuff for my new story that should have its first chap out in a weekish. Just FB search 'the-vampire-act' and join the group!**

**A Good Man-Parish thee to Hollywood**

Rossi hadn't started snooping, but as soon as he 'started', he found that he couldn't stop. He knew that it was wrong, but he knew it was the only way that he would ever get to know the kid. He had just joined the team, and he knew that Reid probably resented him from taking Gideon's place, and besides, he had profiled him in his office, too.

Rossi rearranged the files in Reid's desk, desperately hoping to find that one piece of information that would help him find something interesting about him. A shiny object caught his attention, but it was buried underneath a few files and other heavier things. Starting his journey, he opened the drawer a bit more and dug in. The first few things that he had found was a picture of a blond woman who he assumed was his mother, another picture of just him and Gideon, a stationary set, and…Oh.

"What have we here?" Rossi snickered. He picked up the magazine with a smirk growing on his face. He scanned over the cover before turning to the inside pages. When he found the main article about it, his smile grew wider. Next to the print was a large picture of Reid and 'Lila' standing suspiciously close as the paparazzi surrounding them snapped a viciously large amount of pictures.

"Is there something I can help you with?" a voice asked from behind him.

Immediately, Rossi dropped the magazine in fear that he had been caught. He let out a sigh of relief when he realized it was just Hotch.

"You know it's against the rules to snoop….and profile," Hotch sighed.

"I'm assuming you know about this?" Rossi asked. He picked up the magazine again and started reading it.

"Yeah, it was a case," Hotch nodded. Then, he took the magazine from Rossi's hands, shaking his head as Rossi glared at him. "He's a private guy, Rossi. I don't think he'd appreciate you doing this."

"Who was she, anyways?" Rossi had chose to ignore Hotch all-together. It wasn't like he had found drugs or cigarettes; it was just a mere magazine with Reid and a hot actress. If he were Reid, he would've framed the damned thing.

Hotch placed the magazine back underneath the carefully placed folders. He shut the drawer and prodded Rossi out of the bullpen.

"What?" Rossi asked innocently once they reached Hotch's office. "I didn't do anything!"

"Rossi, you can't do that kind of thing anymore. If Reid would've caught you, I doubt he'd be happy." Then, a grim thought must have crossed Hotch's mind, because he frowned and sharply glared at Rossi. "What else did you find?"

Rossi was taken aback by Hotch's new tone, but he answered anyways. "Well, I didn't go through all of it, but I saw a picture of Reid and Gideon, a picture of a blond that I'm assuming is his mother, the magazine, and…." Rossi paused. 'The shiny object at the bottom- it was a bottle. A small, glass bottle.' for the second time that day, Rossi was hit with an 'oh' moment.

"What else?" Hotch asked through gritted teeth.

Rossi bit his lip and shook his head. Forcing a smile on his face, he said, "Nothing Hotch, nothing."

"Good, let's keep it that way." The seriousness behind Hotch's words sent a chill through his spine. If the bottle was what he thought it was, and Hotch obviously knew about it, why hadn't he made Reid get rid of it? Obviously there was something else going on, but what?

"Don't ask, Rossi. It's not worth it."

"Right, of course," Rossi nodded.

"Sir," JJ said, knocking on the door, "we have a case."

**~* AGM *~**

**Whelp, there it is! This was actually supposed to be funny *Smirks. Thnx for reading; don't forget to check me out on FB! **


	12. He's a Profiler

**This has Gideon in it! YAY! And if you haven't realized yet, I'm on FB now, and if you 'like' me on it, you can see an exclusive look at the story that I just published (see profile pg for details) Takes place riiight before Gideon leaves. ;) **

**A Good Man- He's a Profiler**

It was the type of thing that happened suddenly and unplanned; it was a spontaneous urge to reach out to your fellow human-being and help them along. SSA Aaron Hotchner rarely felt that urge, but as he stared at Spencer Reid and Jason Gideon, he knew he'd have to help.

Hotch could sense the tension building between the two over of the last few months, and he was afraid that if they didn't deal with whatever they needed to they would both explode on each other. Gideon had been acting strange recently, and Reid had obviously caught onto that. He was afraid, though, that if Reid approached Gideon about it, the older man would give Reid the cold shoulder. But just as Hotch was about to stand up, Gideon did so as well. The senior profiler made his way over to Hotch and sat down opposite of him. Frowning, Gideon said, "Leave it be."

"What do you mean?" Hotch asked. He could honestly say that he had no idea what Gideon was talking about, but by the annoyed expression on Reid's face as he turned his head toward his superiors, he had a feeling it had to do with Reid. "What did you say to him?"

"I wish I knew," Gideon replied, shaking his head. "He won't talk to me anymore. I know that something's bothering him, but he won't let me in."

"You won't let him in, either," Hotch sighed. "You've been just as bad about letting people in as he has been. You're acting…different, Jason, and Reid's noticed it too." Hotch sat his case file down and turned his hole attention over to Gideon. "It's upset with you; he's just too polite to admit it."

"What do you expect me to do then?" Gideon asked, obviously irritated.

"Absolutely nothing," Hotch said. Then, Hotch scooted closer to Gideon, making sure Reid couldn't hear him. "You're like a father to him, Jason. And although you do a kid, Reid's not like Steven. He's more sensitive, and he's a profiler. He knows when you're hiding something from him, and right now, you're the last person he wants to talk to."

"Then you talk to him," Gideon muttered.

Shaking his head, Hotch reclined in his seat and let out a deep breath. "He's a profiler, too, Gideon. He's not just your 'mentee' anymore. Let him think things through; he needs to be alone."

Gideon knew he had the bad habit of thinking of Reid as a child, and he knew that he needed to let Reid think on his own now. Sighing, he too relaxed in his seat. "Yeah, he's a profiler…."

**~* AGM *~**

**A bit of an odd one, but for some reason I had to write it! There will be a longer drabble with Gideon up hopefully soon. Thnx for reading! **


	13. For all the NonBelievers

**Spoilers for Corazon. That ep was amazing! ;) Thoughts? *Smirks* Consider a missing scene, I guess. **

**A Good Man- For the Non-Believers**

Spencer Reid whimpered in the privacy of his hotel room, silently cursing his damned headaches. They were killing him and making it almost impossible to hide them- _almost_. He rolled over on his side, trying his best to relieve some of the pain. Desperately, he pulled the comforter over his head and tried to force himself to sleep. At least in his sleep the pain subsided.

A torturous knocking then assaulted his ears.

Moaning, he rolled over again until he nearly fell off the bed. He shakily walked to the door, peering out the small hole to see who was on the other side. Sighing as he realized that it was Morgan, he answered the door.

"Reid, Julio wanted to talk to you," Morgan said, obviously unhappy about it. "I told him that you went back to the hotel early, but he insisted."

Reid peered around Morgan to see Julio standing next to him, patiently waiting to be let in. His eyes locked with Morgan's for a second, his expression clearing begging Reid to say no. He knew that Morgan was suspicious about Julio acting so friendly, so familiar with him, but Reid somehow understood. Before Morgan could say anything else, he nodded and moved out of the doorway. Both Julio and Morgan walked in. He stopped Morgan, though, silently asking him to wait outside. Morgan quickly looked at Julio, then back to Reid. "Fine," he sighed, and with a nod, he left the room. Julio sat down as Reid closed the door, waiting for Reid to join him. Once he too was seated, Julio spoke up.

"Your headache, is it better?" he asked with concern.

Reid bit his lip. He instinctively reached for a pillow to hug close to him and burry his head in, letting out a shaky breath as he closed his eyes. The lights were just too bright; he couldn't concentrate when the aches increased. Suddenly, he felt the lights mercifully turn off. He hesitated before raising his head, as if waiting for an invitation to do so.

"It's alright now; I turned them off," Julio promised. "I know they hurt you. I just wanted to help."

Reid reluctantly brought his head up, almost smiling when he realized the light was in fact off. Julio smiled sadly as he watched the distressed agent relax a bit.

"You need to tell them you're in pain. It's affecting your job; they deserve to know," Julio spoke.

"No, I can't…" Reid mumbled. Despite the light being off, his head was still killing him. Julio caught on to that fact fairly quickly, and he frowned as he stood up to sit next to Reid. He put his hand on the back of the younger man's head, instructing him to lay back down. Julio could feel him shaking as he unsteadily lowered himself down on the couch. "You have to tell them, Spencer, this is affecting you too greatly," Julio sighed.

"Not yet, no," Reid replied, panicked.

"What are you so afraid of," Julio asked, exasperated, "that you would suffer so greatly to avoid?"

Julio never received a reply, though, because Reid had mercifully fallen to sleep. Before leaving, he gently placed a thin blanket on top of him and took off the sunglasses Reid had been wearing. Without looking back, he walked toward the door and shut it quietly behind him.

"Where's Reid?" Morgan asked, now concerned about what might have gone on inside the hotel room.

"He's fallen to sleep," Julio reassured. "You need not worry; I'd never hurt him, or you, for that matter." Julio held his hand out for Morgan, and reluctantly Morgan shook it.

"I appreciate it that," Morgan nodded. "I guess…I guess we'll see you tomorrow."

"Yes, yes you will," Julio responded seriously. "Good night, agent, and if I were you, I'd keep a close eye on him." He didn't wait for Morgan to respond, though. He quickly turned on his heel and left the hotel room.

Morgan watched Julio leave. Reid was having headaches, a suspect in a murder case was 'befriending' the younger man, and it was obvious that they were both hiding something from the team.

What the _hell _was going on?

**~* AGM *~**

**I looked over this a dozen or so time, but all I saw were random words. I hope this makes some sense! I wanted to do something with Corazon before I disappear again, so I hope you all liked it! Thnx for sticking in there….**


	14. Exhausted

**This happened to me as of recently, and I honestly think it could happen to Reid just as easy, if not easier!**

**A Good Man- Exhaustion **

Spencer Reid was exhausted, and even then the statement was being generous. His head was pounding, his hands shaking, his mind broken and frazzled. Sighing deeply as he locked the jet bathroom shut, he let his body slump to the floor and groaned deeply. He closed his eyes, and before he knew it, he had fallen to sleep….

About thirty minutes later, Reid was startled awake with a jolt. The banging on the door seemed louder by the second, and Reid's head couldn't take the assault on it any longer. "Damn it, stop knocking!" he hissed without thinking. He regretted it immediately, though, and he knew he would have repercussions to pay for that one.

"Reid, open the door!" Hotch shouted. Instantaneously, on his knees, Reid fumbled for the lock and somehow managed to get it unlocked. Hotch opened the door, kneeling down next to Reid once he realized that he was on the floor. "What's going on with you?" he asked, concerned.

Reid had already fallen to sleep again, though, and Hotch started shaking him awake again. Reid's eyes slowly fluttered opened, and he seemed confused at first. Then, as he looked around, realization seemed to have dawned. 'Oh, right,' he sighed, 'I passed out in the bathroom.'

"Reid, Reid?" Hotch watched as his agent came to and fro, and finally, those large brown eyes came back into focus. "Maybe you should sit this case out…."

"No, no! I'm just….tired," Reid sighed. Hotch shook his head though, obviously not in the mood to hear his weak excuses.

"Reid, you need to sleep," Hotch said sternly. He suddenly wrapped his strong arms- gently, of course- around Reid's tiny waist and propped him to his feet. The boy almost collapsed, but by the time he did actually do so, Hotch had him resting on a body-length seat and already more than half-asleep. Hotch stood over his vulnerable and exhausted agent, watching as his eyes filled with sadness and insecurity. Sighing, Hotch dropped to his knees to talk to him.

"What you're doing is unhealthy; you need to sleep Reid, okay?" Hotch started. "Just…just promise me you'll at least try to sleep, and if you're up in an hour or two still, I'll leave you alone," Hotch promised. His promise was pointless, though, because Reid was already sleeping. Sighing, Hotch turned and sat back down in his seat.

**~* AGM *~**

**I will probably play more with Reid being 'exhausted' with Gideon later. Not now, though. I'm exhausted. *Smirks. Pun sadly intended….**


	15. Hair Pulling

**Angst-ahoy! **

**A Good Man- Hair Pulling**

Spencer Reid frowned as Derek Morgan pulled his long, curly hair. "Please stop," he silently begged, though the desperation was hidden as he spoke. Morgan continued to do it, though, much to the younger man's displeasure. "Morgan, _please?" _This time, he was practically whining it.

"What Pretty Boy, you don't like me pulling your curly locks?" Morgan snickered.

Prentiss, who until then had been unaware of what was going on, sighed and rolled her eyes. "Morgan, just stop, okay? It's not funny."

"Party-pooper!" Morgan accused, pointing his finger at Prentiss. Then, he resumed to pulling Reid's hair.

Reid's hand tightened around his pencil, accidentally snapping it in half as his hands began to shake.

"_Come on_ _guys, I think little _Spencer here misses us!" the quarter-back snickered. "He hasn't seen us since winter break!"

"_You growing your hair out, Rapunzel?" The second football player roughly grabbed at Spencer's wrists, making him whimper as they threw him to the ground. A third one starting pulling his hair, laughing drunkenly all the while._

"STOP IT!" Reid finally screamed, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Morgan flinched back, throwing his hands in the air as Reid flew from his seat and into the bathroom.

"Good going, Morgan," Prentiss spat back at a confused-looking Morgan. "God, don't you think he's been bullied enough?"

"What was that about?" Hotch asked sternly as he walked into the bullpen, his eyes narrowing at Morgan. He knew what the likely scenario was, though: Morgan was teasing Reid and went a little too far; Reid, bullied all his life, wanted him to stop, but Morgan kept going. As Prentiss spoke up, his theory was confirmed.

"He was pulling Reid's hair," Prentiss sighed, still glaring at Morgan.

That Hotch hadn't expected.

"Hey-" Morgan started, but Hotch stopped him.

"Why would you do that?" he asked incredulously. "What were you….Never mind," he sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. "I'll be back," he mumbled as he walked away angrily. A few seconds later, he pushed the bathroom doors opened and searched the stalls for Reid. He found him on his third try, and when he did, his anger washed away and was replaced with sadness. Reid's knees were tucked into his chest, and his hands shielded his head- no, his hair- as his face was hidden in his knees. Hotch placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, realizing that Reid was sniffling. The younger man looked up, a mixture of embarrassment and hurt on his face.

"He…he pulled my hair," Reid sighed. "They did that, too."

'The football team,' Hotch thought, inwardly nodding his head. 'And I'm sure they did other things, too.' Not wanting to press his youngest agent too far, he merely sighed and offered an understandingly sad smile.

"Yeah," Hotch said. He sighed as Reid placed his head back down, fighting back another sniffle. "I know."

**~* AGM *~**

**So sad ;'( I think I'll be writing more on hair-pulling later on. I apologize for not having Gideon in this story so much, but I find him extremely difficult to write because I really don't like him…Thnx for reading!**


	16. Here's to Winning

**I'm neglecting Child's Play, and thus this was created. GIDEON is in this! I'm so proud. BTW, this is a rough draft. ;( I didn't have time to beta, as I wanted to get something posted this week. **

**A Good Man- Here's to Winning **

The words were worse than venom, and when they were bit into his skin with its long, sharp teeth, he nearly screamed. How could she have been so cruel, so…so….

"Reid." The voice was soft, and at first Spencer wasn't sure that he had even heard it. When he turned around, though, he saw Gideon's eyes flicker to his hands, where his fist was currently just about ready to snap his pen in half. Reid practically threw the pen down and turned his gaze out toward the space surrounding the airplane. "Sorry," he mumbled, exasperation creeping out of the words.

"Don't apologize, Reid. You didn't do anything," Gideon smiled.

"Yeah, right," Reid nodded. By his tone of voice, he was sure that even Gideon could tell that he wasn't in the mood to talk, but the older man kept pushing. Eventually, Gideon's words became lost on Reid. The younger man kept his gaze fixated out the window, ignoring Gideon easily. It had been a bad day, and he was in no mood to deal with his mentor at the moment.

And he meant _just that. _

Gideon wasn't the same as he was after he had came back to the BAU, and he was never fully himself after that. Gideon seemed to be more hurtful than helpful, and whenever he turned to him for guidance, he left more confused that ever.

"Reid, you can't just ignore me," Gideon sighed, whipping off his glasses.

"Oh yeah?" Reid found himself mumbling. Then, in one swift movement, Reid gathered his messenger bag and files before standing up. "Watch me," he spat back, the urge to be defiant too demanding to pass up. Before Gideon could say anything else, Reid was gone and sitting across from Hotch. The section chief knew better than to press his youngest agent when he was in a bad mood, and in all honesty, he could understand his urge to get away from Gideon. He too had been sensing the changes in Gideon's behavior, but he'd also been sensing the same changes in…

Oh.

Hotch sighed, torn between asking Reid what had happened with Elle and respecting his privacy. He didn't have to make a decision, though, as Reid decided to make it for him.

"She's not going to be here much longer, is she?" Reid mumbled, playing with the pencil in his hand.

"What happened, Reid?"

Reid just scoffed in response, taking his water bottle from his bag. "Neither of them will be, will they?"

"Reid-"

"It's okay, Hotch, really," he laughed bitterly. "Didn't you hear? We won." Spencer suddenly regret telling Elle the same thing, as now he was spitting them back in his own face. "So here's to winning."

**~* AGM *~**

**I don't like Gideon or Elle, in case you couldn't tell. Apologies to those who do! Cheers to all. **


	17. Caring is Sharing, After All

**A Good Man-Sharing is Caring, After all**

SSA Dr. Spencer wasn't an idiot. He could read people, know when something was off, know when people where hiding things, and knew when they were in danger- he was a profiler, after all. And so were his teammates, to be fair. So when SSA Emily Prentiss had strolled into the BAU late with the claim that traffic was horrible, they all knew it was a lie. They knew that she had gotten herself into some sort of trouble, but what they couldn't figure out was why she wouldn't tell them the truth. If the roles were reversed and anyone else was in her position, Emily would've been all over them about it.

So Spencer decided that it was his turn to play 'big brother'.

"Hey Emily, could I talk to you for a second?" Spencer asked timidly as the rest of the team prepared for the flight. Frowning at the use of her first name, she nodded her head and followed him back to his desk.

"What is it, Reid?" she asked.

Spencer's eyes darted around the room, as if afraid that someone was ease-dropping. Then, hesitantly, he rolled up his sleeve and revealed a beaded bracelet. Emily immediately recognized it as the bracelet that Julio had given him, and she became even more confused. "What is this about, R-_Spencer_?" she asked.

Spencer just shook his head as he wordlessly took the charm off his thin wrists. He held it out in his hand as he waited for Emily to take it. Reluctantly, she bit her lip and did just that. "I know you're not going to tell us what's happening, but I have a feeling you need protection more than I do right now," he said. "Besides, it's too late for me, anyways."

"Wh-what do you mean by that?" Emily asked, exasperated. She didn't even know that Spencer had been wearing it all these weeks, let alone for the fact that it was meant to _protect _him. Her stomach sank as the gut feeling that something was terribly wrong crept up on her again. Had she really been that obvious the last few weeks? Had it really affected her that much?

"We're going to be leaving soon," Spencer said, breaking the silence. His eyes flickered up to Hotch, who was staring at them from across the room, a warning look set in his eyes, but it was a concerned one as well. Standing up, he took her hands as the bracelet was trapped- cupped in their hands as Emily stared up at Spencer with shock. "Don't think that we haven't notice," he whispered, "and don't think that we can't help you. Whatever it is, let us in, Emily. We're on your side no matter what."

"And why should I believe you?" Emily found herself asking. She immediately regretted it, though, when Spencer's eyes flickered with sadness and a brief anger, but immediately he regained his control and halted their phases.

"Because I learned that the hard way," Spencer responded, "and you were there for some of that, too." Then, without warning, Spencer pulled his hands free and started off toward the door, go-bag in hand.

Emily stared down the bracelet in her hands, both shocked and flattered. Even though both profilers knew that the bracelet was just a symbol of protection, it was a symbol that neither of them took very lightly. Knowing that Spencer was right, she slipped on the beaded bracelet and picked up her own bag. Starting toward the door, she couldn't help but wonder if it was too late for her as well.

~* AGM *~

**Ta-da. Thnx for reading everyone! Any thoughts of Coda..? BTW, will do a more official tag to it with Sammy next…whenever that is. **


	18. The Magic Touch

**Heavy spoilers for Coda. I don't think I'm done with Sammy, though, so there will more than likely be more on this later.**

**A Good Man- The Magic Touch **

Thin fingers wandered over his own. They intertwined with his own as they so carefully lifted them up. They placed them on the correct spots, moving them to mimic the correct pose. They played effortlessly, expecting him to feel the music through his own hand and play along with him.

And to say the least, it _was _the least he could do.

Mesmerized, Spencer Reid watched as Sammy's fingers danced across with black and white keys, working together as yins and yangs were pressed to create the most enchanting melody that he had ever heard. Spencer knew that the song would haunt him in his sleep, and he looked forward to those precious nightmares.

Feeling more confident that he wouldn't screw up such a beautiful song, Spencer joined the young boy. His fingers matched the patterns of Sammy's fingers as the graciously moved and slid over the keys. He was breathless as he realized that boy's potential, realized the brilliance of the young mind.

As Sammy kept his fingers roaming over keys, Spencer allowed the nightmares to cease for just a moment, and he relished this part of his job. The unfortunate truth was that he rarely felt peaceful on the job, but right now that was exactly what he felt. Closing his eyes, he let the melody synch into his memory, unable to allow himself to let go of such a treasure.

Then, even as Sammy pulled away, he swore he still felt the boy's hands take hold of his own.

~* AGM *~

**I loved this scene in Coda! Thoughts? **


	19. Not Necessary

**I really don't like Seaver. A little AU on Reid's (and Seaver's, really) part, but she needs to go. Blame ReidFanatic for this one, as she inspired me to rebel with her own Scolded!Seaver fic. **

**AGM-Not Necessary**

Ashley Seaver sat down opposite of Spencer Reid, her eyes downcast. She had been terribly wrong about the little autistic boy, and although she was glad she had been, she was also upset that she had made such a stupid mistake. On top of that, she had insulted one of the finest members of the BAU all in the same day. She shouldn't have told him to stop talking and that she regretted asking him the question in the first place. Sighing, she lifted her eyes and waited for him to look back up. Once his large eyes met hers, she nervously began her apology. "I'm sorry about this morning-"

"Not necessary," Reid mumbled, looking back down at his book. "You were out of line, and you know it. That's all that matters. We've all made mistakes, but the significant part is admitting it."

"If I hurt your feelings-" Once again, though, Reid cut her off.

"Stop it," he warned through gritted teeth. "Half-ass apologies will get you nowhere in this job, and neither will worrying about other people's feelings; under the circumstances in which you are here, I'd mind my own business if I were you."

"And what circumstances would that be, _Dr. _Reid?" she asked as she glared at him.

"Your father was a serial killer; the BAU used you to solve the case. When JJ was forced out, they allowed you to stay because they thought that you were smart and could be helpful. My team knew better, though, and we all knew you'd be less than helpful. So far, I'd say we were right."

Fuming, Seaver clenched her fists and glared back at Reid. "And what is that supposed to mean? That I'm an idiot? That I'm in your team's way-"

"Actually, Seaver, it means just that," Hotch said as he came up from the aisle-way. "All that you've shown us is that you need us to hold your hand through every case you'll be on and that you are not ready to be a profiler." He paused, glancing from Reid to Seaver. "In the history of the BAU, there's only been one exception to the rules against mandatory training. That exception, Seaver, was Dr. Reid. You're not him, and he is at a higher ranking than you."

"Isn't it _Cadet _Seaver?" she scoffed.

Hotch glared down at her the way that only Hotch could, making the younger agents visibly cringe. "If you are going to be working with my team, you will be addressed as Seaver. As far as I'm concerned, you're not a BAU agent, and if I called you cadet on the field the officers we work with might feel your presence as hurtful rather than helpful." Then he turned his attention completely to Reid. "Would you mind helping me for a second, Agent Reid?"

Smirking down at Seaver, he snickered as stood up. "Of course, sir." Then, without looking back, Reid and Hotch walked away.

"Thanks Hotch," he smiled, blushing all the while.

"I didn't say it for you," Hotch frowned. Spencer grinned back, and Hotch couldn't help but let a smile twitch on his lips. "Come on," he started, patting Reid's back, "we have work to do."

**~* AGM *~**

**BTW, it would have been Cadet Seaver, I think, but *Shrugs* I was venting against her and made her more bitchy than she probably is…**


	20. SelfProclaimed Heroes

**Really short, but it's something. **

**AGM-Self-Proclaimed Heroes **

'**I do not sympathize with heroes anymore, but rather I sympathize toward their cause, because anyone who calls themselves a hero is surely not one.'**

Spencer Reid wasn't a hero. He had never claimed to be, and he never would. He saved peoples' lives- made a difference in their lives. He gave them a chance to live again and get on with their lives. Everyday his life was put in peril, but he never complained. He wouldn't still be doing it all if he wasn't dedicated to what he did.

It had never been about being a hero for him- about being a saint and being looked upon better than anyone else. He tried his best to stay in the sidelines when the public came up. He genuinely just wanted to make someone's day a little brighter. Even though doing so made him go home feeling a little bit darker, dread the dark just a little bit longer, he had decided a long time ago that it was all worth it.

The victims were innocent, and being a victim himself once he understood how hard moving on was. Helping the children that were being hurt, saving mothers and fathers from having to bury their adult sons and daughters, capturing people from their fates and setting them free- that was what he did for a living, not being a hero. He wasn't concerned about what his future was had, and it wasn't his job to either. All that mattered was getting the victims and their family the closure they needed and making sure that he did everything in his power to help them.

"Reid, we have a case," Hotch said softly, breaking the man's thoughts.

"Right, of course," he nodded back. Grabbing his messenger bag and following him to the conference room, Spencer smiled and prepared himself for another case.

Like he said, Spencer Reid wasn't a self-proclaimed hero…

But he did make a difference, at least.


	21. Unhappy Endings

**AGM-Unhappy Endings**

The UnSub had gotten away easy- suicide by cop. The victims had died gruesomely- strangulation by human hands. The cops had been less than helpful- blamed the BAU for every misstep they made on the case. The BAU had to walk away- unaccomplished and depressed.

It had been just a regular day in the BAU.

Spencer Reid sat opposite of Derek Morgan on the plane while Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi discussed the fine details of the case while somehow the rest of the team managed to sleep somewhat peacefully.

"Kid, it'll be okay," Derek uselessly supplied. Spencer didn't blame the older agent, though. He knew Derek just felt helpless watching his friend suffer through the severe headaches and depressing thoughts. Although the thought was appreciated, repeating the same lie over and over again was unwarranted.

"Yeah, I know," Spencer lied through his teeth. Making his friend feel even worse was useless, so he figured he'd mine as fake it for his sake.

"The rest of the team's going out for a drink when we land. I know you don't like coming, but…Wanna come?"

"I'd be glad to go," Spencer smiled sadly.

And that was the only confirmation Derek needed to know that Spencer was anything but alright. Instead of pressing it, though, he just nodded his head. "_Good." _

_~* AGM *~_


	22. Bite Your Tongue

**Heavy spoilers for 'Hanely Waters' Some text was paraphrased from the ep- mainly the spoken quotes. There will hopefully be more drabbles about this ep. Thoughts? **

**AGM-Bite your Tongue**

SSA Aaron Hotchner had always considered himself a good liar, but when Spencer Reid came into the room with a nervous demeanor and a fought-off frown, doubt started to creep in.

"The last time I was on a couch like this was when my father left."

That had to be the worse possible way to start a conversation. Inwardly groaning, Hotch listened as his youngest agent spoke. He could tell that the boy was close to tears, and he could also tell that he hadn't been sleeping either. Seeing the pain and sadness in Reid's eyes, he felt even more guilty for making him- for making the _team_- come in and talk to him.

"I only told them what they wanted to hear; I was too young to know how to respond to it emotionally."

All through his little 'chats' with his team Hotch found himself biting his tongue. He knew that truth, and besides JJ, he was the only one who did. They deserved to know, yes, but at what cost? If he told them, everything would change. They would want to find her, go after her, hug her- be _with _her! Although he could understand all of those impulses, he just couldn't let it happen. The team knowing would put all of them in danger, and that was a side effect Hotch just wasn't willing to deal with.

"What really is the point if we can't even protect each other?"

About halfway through their 'session', Hotch found himself wondering if Reid was having another headache. His eyes had became more profoundly dark, his focus had become very intense, and every once in a while he would rub his eyes just a bit too rapidly- the way he had after 'faking' a headache just a few weeks ago. He wasn't sure if the agent was still having them, but he was aware at one point that he was. He had hoped that they were just a one-time thing, but now he was beginning to have his doubts.

"You know, sometimes I wonder if Gideon was right."

And that was the worse possible way to end a conversation.


	23. Our Worst Hits Yet

**Inspired by Panic at the Disco. **

**A Good Man- Our Worst Hits Yet**

SSA Derek Morgan knew that Dr. Spencer Reid had been through a terribly traumatic ordeal, but he also knew he wasn't handling it the way he should be. Everyone on the team had quietly acknowledged Reid's secret stash of dilaudid, but they asol refused to comment on it. If they said anything about it on company time they knew they would be putting Reid's career at risk, but by choosing not to comment on it they risked letting the agent believe that they were all ignorant about his little 'issue'.

So when Reid seemed to have fallen asleep during their card game, Morgan shook his head and decided he had waited too long to talk to the kid. "Reid…Reid?" He watched the younger man's eyes flutter open and realization set in. "What's eatin' at you?" he frowned.

"Hmm…Nothing," Reid mumbled.

Less than three minutes later, Reid's willpower faltered and he revealed that he was having issues with the crime scene photos. "Reid, it's called empathy, and you use it to make yourself a better person."

Spencer Reid smirked as Morgan's motivation ended and waited for him to respond. He lowered his eyes as Morgan watched him intently. "A good person," Spencer mused with a bit of amusement. The feelings hadn't made him a better person- in fact, they had made him a far worse person. The drugs helped, but it only helped by masking his fears and burying the issues. He pushed his cards toward Morgan with a small nod. Sighing, he curled up to into a ball and pretended he would be able to sleep. As he watched Morgan turn the light off from the corner of his eyes, Reid swore to himself that as soon as he got home he'd get rid of the dilaudid.

It's what a good man would do, after all.


	24. We're Struggling

**Spoilers for season six and onwards. You'll understand when you read it.**

**A Good Man-We're Struggling **

None of them had been the same.

No, not in a long time.

Penelope Garcia had become less emotional since JJ had left, since Prentiss had died, since Seaver had come, since the budget had been cut. She wasn't so sparkly, so bubbly and carefree. She had stopped her witty greetings and her ways of making the team feel better. In her defense, he knew that she was trying to recover herself. And she deserved to, really, but sometimes he wished that he could see her laugh and smile again.

Derek Morgan had been more protective and careful since JJ had left, since Prentiss had died, since Seaver had come, since the budget had been cut. The trust he had built up with the team over the last six years had come crashing down, and he found that his strongest agent was becoming weaker and weaker. Not only would Morgan not talk to them about his life anymore, he had started becoming more and more concerned about the team's individual members. Normally he would take that as a good thing, but he was only overcompensating for his lack of care for himself. That alone made him nervous, but he couldn't let himself worry about Morgan at the moment.

Spencer Reid had grown both younger and older since JJ had left, since Prentiss had died, since Seaver had come, since the budget had been cut. The shield that he hadn't seen since the Tobias Hankel case was back and stronger than ever, and he could tell that his will to withstand the headaches he was obviously suffering from was growing thin. He knew that Morgan and several other members of the team had tried to help Reid, but he also knew it wasn't working. Their youngest agent was in a state of emergency, but the kid wasn't letting anyone help. He'd make a mental note later to keep an eye on him, because if he wasn't careful, he'd lose Reid too.

David Rossi had tried to become the rock of the team since JJ had left, since Prentiss had died, since Seaver had come, since the budget had been cut. He was the only member of the team who was even attempting to make things normal. Someone had to, he supposed, but he hadn't been expecting Rossi to reunite the team with video games and pep talks, 'you okay's' and 'let's get a drink'. He appreciated it, sure, but deep down he knew that at one point or another Rossi would have to take a step back and deal with everything that had happened himself. In the meantime he'd accept the help and pretend that it wouldn't have consequences. Besides, Rossi and himself were the 'parent's of the team, and parents were supposed to be the glue of a family.

So, giving all of the facts that Aaron Hotchner had collected, it was about time they all sat in a room together and forced themselves to deal with everything that had happened. Garcia sadly stared down at her bright fingernails and pretended not to be bothered by Morgan as he sat down next to her. Morgan glanced over his fellow team mates as he joined them in the gathering Hotch had created for them. Hotch nodded as Morgan, the last team member to come, finally sat down between Garcia and Rossi. Rossi and Hotch exchanged concerned looks as Reid sat completely still opposite of them at the Hotchner Household kitchen table, tears streaming down the youngest agent's eyes in large, soundless drops.

"So, what is this about?" Rossi finally asked. The other agents silently nodded in agreement, each and every one of them secretly already knowing what was going on. Each one of the original members of the team- Garcia, Rossi, Morgan, Reid, Hotch….They all knew.

"Thanks for coming, everyone," Hotch said.

"Where else would we rather be tonight?" Garcia smiled sadly.

"Yeah, we've all been strugglin', Hotch. It was a good idea," Morgan nodded solemnly.

"The truth, everyone, is that the BAU's not immune to these budget cuts, and this is going to effect every single one of us. "

"What do you mean, Hotch?" Garcia asked,, fear evident in her tone of voice. Hotch opened his mouth to respond, but he slowly closed it again and just shook his head.

"It means," Spencer spat in anger, tears still threatening to spill, "we're all fucked."

The other members of the team looked from Spencer to Hotch with shock evident on their faces, but when Hotch just nodded in response, they realized Spencer was right.

"Yeah, we're all fucked," was the only response Hotch offered. He then raised from his seat and reached behind him for five glasses and a bottle of whiskey. "Now who wants a glass?"


	25. All the King's Men

**Still suffering laptop issues and some other problems. Thanks for the patience :d In better news, JJ and Prentiss are back…. and Seaver's gone.**

**WARNING: Smoking!Reid kink ahoys.**

**A Good Man-All the King's Men**

Spencer Reid and David Rossi stared out at the scene portraying ahead of them. Aaron Hotchher and William LaMontange chatted happily as their children played out in the grassy area next to the field. JJ, Prentiss, and Garcia squealed over a picture book of Henry and swapped stories back and forth. Kevin and Morgan grinned childishly over some story that Morgan was telling, and if Rossi and Reid knew Morgan at all, it wasn't an exactly g-rated story.

While everyone laughed merrily, talked happily, and shared an evening that they would all surely miss tomorrow morning when they walked into the BAU, Rossi and Reid leaned over the patio JJ and Will had set up in their back yard and smoked. Neither of them knew if the team could see them or even if they were paying attention to them. Nor did they care, to be honest, because neither of them were happy, neither in a merry mood. Sure, Seaver was gone Great, JJ had just rejoined the BAU. Fantastic,Prentiss was still alive- but so what? After everything had settled down and everything was 'back to normal' in the BAU, Rossi realized that everything was exactly the same as it had been before. Their merry little family had just gone through a trial period, and they had all apparently survived. So to celebrate they were barbequing and having the best time they could manage to have before crawling back to work the next morning.

But Spencer Reid couldn't even feign happiness. His head was killing him, his stress levels through the roof, and he was unbelievably exhausted. Exhaustion had fatigued him so greatly that he couldn't even play with his godson, which was something Reid had been looking forward to for too long. So now he leaned heavily against the railing and fought off tears while trying to stay awake.

Rossi mumbled intelligently as he opened his pack of cigarettes again. Grabbing a cigarette and pulling a lighter from his pocket he lit up and offered Reid one. The kid wasn't paying attention, though. He was much too concerned with trying to keep his headache to a minimum, but he feared that he was failing miserably. Rossi sighed and leaned closer to the younger agent. Supportively throwing and arm around his slender shoulder he took Reid into a small hug. It was small and didn't last very long, but it was just enough for Reid to calm his panic of his migraine growing just a bit. "It'll be okay, kid," Rossi reminded quietly.

Then, throwing down his cigarette and tossing something that looked to be either a pill or a mint in his mouth, he returned the lighter and started walking off the deck. "Yeah, I know." With that, Reid started off toward the wooded area surrounding the house. He knew that Reid was very familiar with the woods, as he had taken Henry and Jack there very often, so he knew that he wouldn't get lost of end up hurting himself. The kid had been dealing with a lot lately, and Rossi knew that he was close to the end of his rope. Reid needed to deal with that- and he was going to deal with it his way.

So Rossi too disposed of his cigarette and didn't bother following him.


	26. Be his Hero

**Takes place around '100' when Reid was shot. 'Charlie' is the kid Reid played chess w/ at the park in the show, by the way. **

**A Good Man- Be his Hero**

SSA Dr. Spencer Reid woke up to an unfamiliar guest staring down at him. At first he had almost forgotten what had happened, but as a pain started shooting through his leg it all came back to him. He had been shot in the leg and was in a hospital. So who was with him?

"Dr. Reid?" the feminine voice asked quietly. It somehow seemed familiar to Reid, though, and as the room started to focus in he realized why. He was about to speak up to the surprise visitor when she sat down a chess board on his bed and lowered something that looked like his wallet. "You didn't tell Charlie you were a cop."

"I'm not a cop," Spencer smiled, his voice hoarse. "I'm an FBI agent," he corrected.

"Oh, yes," the woman chuckled, "sorry." The way she fidgeted with the chess board while trying not to let Spencer see her stare at his badge made the agent worrisome, though. Frowning, he asked, "Why? Should I have?"

"Sorry, no-that's fine with me. It's just…Most the law enforcement employees I know flaunt their badges every chance they get. It's nice, I suppose, to see someone hiding it instead. Not that there's anything wrong with being an agent, don't get me wrong…" She trailed off at the end, sighing quietly to herself. "Don't tell him," she suddenly requested.

"Don't tell him what?" Spencer frowned. The profiler already knew her answer, though, but he also knew that she had come down to protect her son, and by the way she stammered through he sentences, it wasn't an easy task for her. The fact that she had come down for her son was a good enough reason for him to allow her to speak, though, so he nodded for her to continue.

"Don't tell him you got shot in the line of duty. He thinks of you as a hero, Spencer, and Charlie really needs one right now. His father was shot by a rogue cop, and ever since he's been terrified of law enforcement." The petite woman leaned in closer and placed a picture in the injured man's hand. "He looked just like his father," she whispered. "But…But since his death, he's been so quiet, so guarded and depressed. When he met you at the park, though, he came home with a smile on his face. I can't deal with not seeing that smile anymore…."

For a moment Spencer studied the picture and took in everything Charlie's mother told him. Of course he would never tell Charlie about his badge, because protecting the kid was so much more important than flaunting his credentials. Besides, he wouldn't let himself do to Charlie what Gideon had done to him….So he sucked in a deep breath and nodded solemnly.

"Alright," Spencer finally nodded. "I promise."


	27. A Mother Knows

**A Good Man- A Mother Knows**

Spencer Reid couldn't ever remember being less happy to see his mother, even if he had been looking forward to the visit since he had bought the ticket in November. Now that he was off the plane, packed into a hotel room, and sitting on his mother's couch at Bennington on Christmas Eve, however, the only thing he felt was sadness. His mother was having an okay day, sure, but to be honest it wasn't her or schizophrenia or even the memories associated with it that were making him miserable. What was bothering him was something wrong with himself- or more specifically his own mental state of being. Unfortunately, his mother was starting to catch onto it, too.

"Spencer, what's wrong?" she asked sadly in between sips of non-alcoholic, store-bought egg nog. Spencer had brought the treat with him, as he remembered his mother had loved it when he was younger. One years he had tried making it himself, but whenever he tried pulling out the ingredients for it, she immediately stopped him. "Just go to the store, Sweetie. It tastes better factory fresh," she would joke with him.

Now, as Spencer smiled falsely at her and reassuringly laughed, he said, "Yeah Mom, I'm fine. Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm not," she grinned back. "But that's besides the point, isn't it?" Diana laughed as her son blushed, silently noting how easily it had always been to make him do so.

"Um, I asked the nurses if we could do something together, and if you're up to it, they said we could…" Spencer stumbled out nervously, trying his best to ignore his headache.

"Now I'm excited,' Diana said as her smile widened. "What did you have in mind?"

Spencer reached down to his side and produced a box of sugar cookie mix, vanilla frosting, and a mixture of red, green, and snowflake-shaped sprinkles. Immediately Diana jumped from her seat to hug her son, memories of making the same cookie set with Spencer when he was just a little boy. "What are you waiting for, son?"

Spencer laughed as he stood up from his seat, smiling just as wide as his mother. "Nothing mom, nothing."


	28. The Saddest Scene

**Sorry had this written a few weeks ago but forgot about it.  
A Good Man- The Saddest Scenes **

He didn't do it often. In fact, he couldn't remember doing it at all since he had been six years old. He had, however, baby-sat before, so combining the two things only seemed normal.

"Spessey, whatcha doing?" Jack asked- well, screamed- as he came barreling out of the back room. Spencer put on a small smile as he looked down at the curious boy. For a moment he just studied the way he bounced around and smiled so entirely large. A sudden feeling of dread passed over him; he had only watched over two other kids, and Jack was much more hyper than any of them had been. Eventually Jack started circling around him, though, and he couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, what do you want to do, Jack?" he asked.

"Hmm...I'm hungry!" he proclaimed. "Can we make someffin?"

"How about cookies?" Spencer grinned, knowing that Jack knew his father had left them cookies to bake. Aaron had warned him that Jack begged him to get them but had told him that he didn't have to make them with him, but Spencer insisted he could handle it.

"Yay!" Jack nodded vigorously. "Can we, can we, can we?"

"Of course, Jack!" Spencer replied just as excitedly.

Spencer raced after Jack toward the kitchen and immediately grabbed the box to start making the baked treat. "Alright Jack, can you get the milk, eggs, and butter?" The young boy nodded and took off to the fridge. In the meantime Spencer started searching for pans and sat the oven to the correct temperature. A few seconds later he saw a little hand place a stick of butter, a half a liter of milk, and a carton of eggs on the counter. Spencer had to laugh at the sight before just shaking his head and motioning for Jack to sit down. Then he lowered a bowl filled with cake mix on the table with a spoon in his hand. "Do you want to mix it?" he asked the child.

"Yes, please!" Jack nearly begged.

"Alright," Spencer grinned as he passed on the spoon. Of course he knew Jack would make a mess after that, but he had decided that it would be worth it. He had never been able to make messes as a child, but that didn't mean Jack shouldn't be able to.

Just as he had suspected, Jack made a huge mess. The smile on his face as he did so and the way he laughed so happily made it all worth it, though, and Spencer would be more than happy to clean up after him once they were done making the cookies.

"Did I do good?" Jack asked as he put down his spoon, obviously tired from stirring already. Of course it was no where near mixed enough, but Spencer smiled and nodded anyways. He would just mix it a bit more when Jack wasn't looking. "You did great, Jack!" Spencer praised falsely. "Your dad would be so proud!"

"Yeah!" Jack cheered from his seat, watching as Spencer took the batter away.

"I'm going to make them into balls for the pan now, okay?" Spencer asked, all the while strategically placing his body in front of the batter so Jack wouldn't see he was actually mixing it. He knew that normally 'the child' was supposed to help make the balls, but he could tell Jack was getting tired and wouldn't want to.

"Okay," Jack nodded.

"Why don't you go to the bathroom and clean up? Then we can watch a movie as we wait for the cookies to bake, alright?"

"Can we watch Finding Nemo?" Jack asked.

"Whatever you want," Spencer nodded. Jack silently cheered one more time before rushing off to the bathroom to wash his hands. Spencer quickly finished mixing the cookie dough and then made them into quick little balls on the pan. A few minutes later they were all in the oven waiting to be heated.

Wondering what was taking Jack so long Spencer took a look in the bathroom to discover him missing. He frowned before realizing that the toddler had probably taken off to the living room, waiting for him to start the movie. The young FBI agent rushed to the living to see just that, and a slight sense of relief took place of the almost panicked feeling he had moments before. "Ready to start the movie?" Spencer asked rhetorically.

"Yeah, movie!" Jack cheered as Spencer turned it on.

"I'm going to clean up a little in the kitchen, alright?"

"Okay," Jack replied distractedly. He was too excited about the movie to really care about what Spencer had to say. Spencer then walked out of the living and into the kitchen, smiling to himself.

It was going to be a good night.


	29. All That Glistens

**A/N: Tags to 'The Fox.' Anyone interested on a summer kink meme…?**

**A Good Man- All that Glistens… **

There were too many of the rings, far too many. Every one of the those golden bands represented another dead family, and that didn't sit too well with Spencer Reid at all. None of them had deserved to die…..

"Reid," Jason Gideon called quietly. Reid hadn't heard him, though. "Reid," he said again, just a bit louder.

"Mhhm?" Reid turned over in his chair so that he was facing Gideon. "What is it?"

"You did good for your first solo interview," he replied. "Considering the nature of the case-"

"The nature of the case is brutal," Spencer interrupted, suddenly irritated. "All the cases are. Any of the other team members would have done the same thing I had- or at least get the same conclusions as me." He knew that he was being irrational, but Spencer was annoyed and tired of being looked at so childishly, especially by Gideon.

"I don't exactly agree with that," Gideon sighed. "Hotch would have scared the UnSub into closing up on us because he has a son of his own. Morgan would have slammed his fist into the table to prove he's just as tough as the UnSub, and we both know that wouldn't have ended well. Elle would have fussed around with him and start trying convince him that she sympathizes with him….And then she'd turn on him and try to prove her worth like Morgan. Me? I'd be too predictable for him, and let's face it, too old. He would have thought that I would try to use my wisdom to trick him. But you? You're younger than him, less strong. You were less of a threat, and that put him off-guard. Your technique was golden- you got him to open up." Gideon reached over on the table and pulled the box closer of wedding rings closer to them. "You helped stop this box from becoming more full That should be enough to help you sleep tonight."

"Yeah, I know," Reid nodded falsely. "Thanks, Gideon. I'll…I'll you see you tomorrow." Spencer Reid waved awkwardly before walking out on Gideon. He just didn't understand him some times.

Aaron Hotchner walked into the conference room after he saw Reid leave. A frown had crossed his lips when he 'overheard' the conversation. He had started noticing the way Reid had been reacting to Gideon lately, and finally he decided it was time to approach Gideon about it. He sat down opposite of the older agent and waited for his opening.

"This is about Reid, isn't it?" Gideon asked.

"Give him some space, Jason. He's still fairly new at this; let him get to know the job better himself-"

"You think I'm crippling him? You think I'm holding him back, Aaron?" Gideon frowned.

Hotch stood from his seat and straightened out his tie. "I think, Jason," he started, "that Reid's a very capable field agent who needs to learn how to…" Aaron's eyes glanced at the box full of rings before continuing, "…_glisten on his own." Hotch grabbed his suitcase again and started to the door. "Have a good night, Jason." _

"_Yeah, you too," Gideon nodded back. "Oh, and Aaron?" Hotch paused in the doorframe. "I'll….I'll work on loosening the leash, so to say." _

"_Good," Aaron nodded. "Because if you don't, I'll do it myself." _

"_Good night," Jason smiled. _

"_Yeah," Aaron smiled back, "you too." _


	30. Music Theory

**Almost spoilers for 'Poison', where Gideon is seen at an orchestra. **

**A Good Man- Pick your Vices, Learn your Virtues **

"_You can pick as many vices as you please, but your virtues will only be learned over time." _

_-Author Unknown _

It was one of the things he still regretted. More accurately, it was one of the things he could still afford to regret. Ever since the day Jason Gideon had joined the Behavioral Analysis Unit it had been the one thing that got him through the whole experience, and even before that he had been closely related to it and its practices. The thing had become a vice of him, though he'd always categorized it as a virtue to those who could do it. He used to, he once thought glumly, but with age it had soon become forgotten from his mind.

It was one of Jason's strongest regrets that he hadn't shown his young protégé the joy of music. He should have taken him to a concert to show him the calming effects of a stringed instrument's bow, the healing complex of the harp, the joyful harmony of the trumpet. He should have told Spencer that the vice of his got him through the days where he just couldn't find it in himself to let go of the case they had been working on. When it wouldn't leave his mind he let the flute's whisper and the saxophone's triumphant exaggerations take control of the thoughts of harm that coursed through his mind.

Now, as Jason watched a young father and his kid pick out a trumpet from the outside window he couldn't help but think of that vital mistake he had made. Looking back he hoped that somewhere Spencer was out there done with another case and doing something he loved, something other than chess or books or schooling. The older man sighed and just pulled his jacket a bit closer to him. It was getting colder outside, and as the wind whipped snow all around him to and fro, he realized that it was time for him to go home.

~* That same time in Virginia *~

Spencer Reid practiced a quick scale before launching in to his first attempt at a new song. He just hadn't been getting it, and he wished that there was someone out there who could help him.

Unfortunately, just as he went to touch the keys with his fingers again, his damned phone started ringing. With a sigh he quickly put away the keyboard and pulled out his phone. It was a text from Garcia; they had a case. Spencer frowned as he threw on his coat and his purple scarf. His team had just gotten off a case, and he wasn't sure he was quite ready for another one. Before he left he took a look at himself in the mirror. Like always he frowned at what he saw, because each time he looked his appearance became more fatigued and more grown- and in the worse way possible. The last few years at the BAU had been tough, but he'd manage to get through. "It's just another case," he said to himself in the mirror, as if telling his reflection would make him believe it more. He didn't, of course. Deciding he had stalled enough Spencer grabbed his messenger bag and started out the door.

At least it was only another case…..


	31. Drink to This

A Good Man-Drink to This

"I guess there's just a point in life where you look back and realize just how little you've done. You look at all the goals you've never accomplished, all the horrible things you've done, and all the people who hurt you. All those positive things mean nothing anymore to you, because the cons seem to outweigh the pros."

Spencer Reid stared out at his audience, his eyes sunken in and his voice nearly emotionless. He had came to the meeting because it was absolutely necessary. If he hadn't, well, it was better not to dwell upon that. The entire support group was now quiet, just a bit too quiet even. For a brief moment his mind told him to shut the hell up and leave, but it was already too late. He had something to say, and he needed to say it now.

"My friend died last week. She was an agent, like me, and she was a great person. I told her about my headaches, and, well, I felt that she was the only person on my team who could handle me telling them without freaking out and babying me. I was right, apparently," he added, almost smiling at the memories that had just crossed his mind. Reality set in again, though, and the silence of the room soon engulfed him again. The agent was suddenly tired of the whole charade- of pretending everyone in the room gave a damn about it. So Spencer did the only thing that seemed reasonable, speed things along. "But she's gone, so it doesn't really matter I suppose."

No one said a word as the young man-very possibly the youngest in the room- sort of sniffled and waited for some sort of response. No one said 'sorry for your less', 'it'll get better', or even 'it's a good thing you came here tonight instead of being home alone with a former addiction'. No, they all just stared there and waited for something to happen, just like he had been. So he just sighed and shook his head. He wasn't in the mood for this shit.

"And I'm sorry to have wasted your time. Bye." Before anyone could stop him- not that he thought anyone would- he was barging out the door and breathing in a breath of semi-polluted air. Spencer pulled out his cell phone and waited for the other person to answer. "Hey Morgan, it's me, Reid. I was wondering if it was too late to take you up on that offer….I could really use a drink right now."


	32. Lying

**A/N: Inspiration has been lacking lately. Does anyone have any requests for a drabble? **

**A Good Man- Lying **

"Why did you lie to me?"

Spencer Reid blinked as looked up from his desk. He hadn't been aware that anyone from the team was even back yet, let alone standing over him like a hawk. "Excuse me?"

"You lied to me about being cleared to travel," Aaron Hotchner sighed. "Why would you do that?"

Reid bit his lip; he was afraid that this would happen. It was a question he was prepared to answer, but not one he wanted to. His answer was simple and obvious. In fact, he was almost sure that Aaron already knew what it was. "I needed to help the team," he eventually said. "We were already a man down; we couldn't afford to lose another team member…..And, and you needed the help."

Hotch blinked. He had known that the team was worried about him, but he hadn't realized just how much they were trying. "Help me how?"

"By being there," Reid murmured. "I heard what happened on the case- everyone's worried about you, and it's when you do stuff like that when we feel the most worried. Two months ago you wouldn't have walked in that house by yourself-"

"Two months ago my wife was alive," Hotch glared. "Two months ago I didn't know what Foyet was planning…." He just shook his head; he shouldn't have to explain himself to his team of all people.

"I know Hotch, but I also know this team is your family, too." Reid suddenly stood up, alarming Hotch. He motioned toward his crutches that were just out of his reach, and Hotch was more than obliged to help him. "Thanks," he murmured as he tried to balance himself while taking them from Hotch. Finally he got a-hold of them and shoved one under either of his arms. "And families help each other," he concluded. Then he grabbed his messenger bag from his desk and started waddling away.

"Where are you going?" Hotch demanded.

Reid stared blankly at Hotch for a minute. Finally he just shook his head and said, "I'm going to the bar with the team. Feel free to join us." His words were just a bit hostile, but Reid was angry. Hotch was part of the team's little family, and every time they had tried to help him Aaron would just sigh and blow them off.

"Right," Hotch sighed, "I'd love to."

"Well, then come on," Morgan smirked as he snuck up behind the pair. "Let's get going."

A few minutes later the team started filing out of the BAU, Hotch and Reid trailing behind them. Once they stepped outside of the building Reid stopped walking, causing Hotch to stop as well. "You alright?" he frowned.

"Of course not," Reid couldn't help but laugh, "but I was just about to ask you the same question." A slight blush crept up on the younger agent's cheeks, something Hotch had almost missed seeing. 'It's better than that blank stare he's been sporting lately,' he sighed to himself.

"Of course not," Hotch agreed, "but that's why we're going to a bar, isn't it?"

"Yeah, I suppose so," Reid laughed.

"Hey, you guys coming?" Morgan called from the car. The worry in his voice was evident, and it didn't go unnoticed by anyone.

"Yeah," Hotch smiled, "we're coming."

~* AGM *~


	33. Social Calls

**If my calculations are correct, Reid will be 30 yrs-old this fall. :D**

**A Good Man- Social Calls**

Spencer Reid stared blankly at his phone. It was a Saturday morning and he had absolutely nothing better to do than wait for the BAU to call him. Across from him on the bed was his go-bag, his messenger around his shoulder, and his Converse tied tightly to his feet. Reid felt almost ashamed of all of the above facts.

And he almost felt more ashamed that the phone started ringing. With a sigh he answered it after the first ring, and before the person on the other line could say anything he said, "Yeah, I'm on my way now."

"It's a bad one, Reid," Hotch sighed.

"They always are." Without waiting for a reply Reid hung up and headed down to his car. 'Every time,' he thought to himself, 'it never fails.' Once he made it outside his apartment building, though, he found Hotch, Garcia, and Morgan waiting with smiles on their faces.

"It was Garcia's idea," Morgan replied defensively, though his own smile was just as big as hers.

"Come on Boy Genius," Garcia grinned, "we've got work to do."

Before Reid knew it he was standing next to his three friends and knocking on David Rossi's door. 'It's better than a case, at least,' he murmured.

"Glad you could make it," Rossi grinned as he invited the profilers in.

"Where else would we all be?" Garcia smiled back.

The next few hours went by in a blur, and if Reid didn't have an eidetic memory he wouldn't have even remembered where he was. Soon enough the youngest profiler couldn't take the happy-go-lucky atmosphere anymore, and he quietly made his way out onto Rossi's backyard patio.

Minutes ticked away as the young man stared blankly out into Rossi's back yard. They weren't on a case, the team was together, no one's life at was stake-so why wasn't he happy?

"Would you mind some company?"

Before Reid even had time to whip his head around and see who it was Hotch was already by his side. "What's on your mind?" he asked patiently.

"When you called me this morning, I was sitting on my bed waiting for the phone to ring. My go-bag was ready, my messenger was beside me, and my shoes were tied. I didn't have any plans for the day just in case we were called in," Reid sighed. The younger profiler shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. Hotch immediately recognized it as a 'nervous tick' that he'd seen Reid do more than a couple of times. The section chief didn't reply to his subordinate as he was sure he wasn't done talking yet. A few seconds later he was proven right. "I'm almost thirty, Hotch. No kids, no wife, not even a girlfriend. I have no social life outside of work, because I'm married to the job."

"Reid," Hotch frowned, "we all go through that. It's, unfortunately, apart of the job. I know that doesn't make it any easier, but you're not alone anymore. You've got seven other people on this team- a single dad, a guy with three ex-wives, a married woman with kids, two single, childless kids, and another who has a new girl every night. We knew what it's like- we know how hard it can be. Sure, you're situation is different, but-"

"I know Hotch," Reid smiled sadly. "It's just- it's hard to think about it sometimes. And this 'party'? It's hard to enjoy it when I expected a work call. Switching between the two modes- it's hard," Reid laughed humorlessly.

"Well, I guess you need more practice, then," Hotch almost smirked. "Don't worry- it'll be someone else than me next time." Reid just grinned at that, unsure what else he should say. Hotch suddenly stood up straight, motioning for Reid to follow suit. "Why don't we get back in there?" Hotch suggested.

"Yeah, of course," Reid nodded. He started following Hotch back into the house when he paused for a minute, causing Hotch to do the same. "Thank you, Hotch," Reid said, the corners of his lips turning up a bit.

"Any time, Reid." Then, with a quick exchange of smiles, they re-entered the house.


	34. Mush

A Good Man- Mush

There's certain things, people, or even days that Spencer Reid had come to realize, that you hold just a bit more dear to your heart, pay just a bit more attention to, just think a bit more about than you should. For some, it's a person who saved their lives. Others, a day in their lives that they'd become permanently stuck on. Even more, the most popular thing, Spencer thought, was that one thing, that one poison that you thought was your only safe harbor but in reality had always been the thing holding you back. Spencer, with all his smarts, all his knowledge, all his experience, knew too damn well how consuming it could be to a person. It became a routine, an addiction, an obsession- and, eventually, your doom, because if you let it take hold of you, let it consume you, it would tear you to pieces and turn you into mush. And that? That was the worse thing you could do to yourself.

Spencer Reid had been an addict. Dilaudid was his poison, forgetting was his reason.

Sitting on a vacant bench in the bustling , snowy DC shopping center, Spencer fingered the coin in his hands and thought. This was his day to celebrate, this was his day to say he'd made it through. It had been four years since he last stabbed himself with a syringe, four years exactly. And what did he have to show for his efforts? He had a medallion. He had his job. He had his family and his friends. He had his own personal pile of mush that had resulted in the addiction in the first place. The most evident thing, the most important anyways, was that he had his life. Today, those things were the only ones that mattered. The world around him-complete with its crime, its busy people too self-occupied to realize they had just become victims of crime, its nosy neighbors and fearless heroes, its businessmen and the people who defrauded them- held no significant meaning to him whatsoever. Today, it was just him, his medallion, and a cup of coffee he had just bought freshly brewed. This was how he'd celebrate the last four years of his life. It was simple, but it was enough.

'A good man', Spencer thought as he leaned his head back, closed his eyes. 'That's all I've ever wanted to be.' Today, he could look himself in the mirror and make-believe that he actually was just that. Four years ago, he looked in the mirror and saw the most pathetic man to walk the Earth. Pretending would be enough-for now. It was progress, anyways.

Suddenly, Spencer's cell phone started buzzing in his pocket. His eyes snapped open, but the only action he made next was to turn the damn thing off. He was celebrating, after all. Didn't they realize that? He had promised himself that he wouldn't leave until he finished his coffee, and so that was exactly what he'd do. Sip by sip, memories came flooding in. The worried looks from his friends, the closest thing he had had to family in years. Unbearable pain from withdrawals. Pure self-hatred that he'd once thought would never go away. All of it was over now. It was time to move on.

Spencer stood to his feet and sighed, taking his last sip. He then threw away the cup and turned his phone back on. He frowned a bit. It was from Rossi. Normally, Garcia or JJ would call for the BAU, so it had to be unrelated from work. Curious, he hit the redial button.

"Hello?" came the muffled reply.

"You called?" Spencer answered back, sounding just as worried as Rossi had.

"Happy fourth."

Spencer stopped in his tracks. A smile spread across his face. He should've guessed. "How'd you know?"

"I wasn't around when you….When that happened," Rossi started, "but I got suspicious when you requested the day off. Your behavior lately also tipped me off."

"My behavior?" Spencer frowned.

"Don't worry about it, kid," Rossi smirked. "I only meant that you've been acting a little secretive lately, more so than usual." Spencer didn't respond, just shook his head and continued walking. "Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for drinks tonight. I'd understand if you said no, but-"

"I'd love to," Spencer smiled back.

A smile crept up on Rossi's face before he hung up the phone. Spencer frowned. Had Rossi just hung up on him…?

Suddenly, a car horn to the right of him made him jump.

"Ready, Reid?" Rossi smirked as he opened up his passenger door.

Spencer smiled back and jumped in the car. "Yeah, I think I'm good now."


End file.
